Spring breaks my wallet

Okay, it's Tuesday morning of Spring Break and I'm ready for it to be over. Get these kids back in school, and I vote that they go year around like they do in China. Who's with me?
First of all, we had to go shopping just for this week. I mean, we always have to go shopping for groceries, but this week we had to buy $100 more than usual because they were going to be home all week. $100 more? Are we raising cattle?
Then we had to talk the 13 year old off the ledge because she found out we weren't "going anywhere" for Spring Break. "What? We aren't going anywhere?" she asked. "What are we going to do all week? We're just going to stay home over Spring Break? All week? No vacation?"
I told her why don't I send her to China, let her get a job with Nike, and she can pay for her own damn vacation. Or maybe she can give up her phone, half the clothes in her closet that she never wears, her cheerleading uniform that cost more than some vehicles... I'm not sure, but I think that after all the eye rolling and gasping, she finally got the picture.
I knew it was going to be bad when I couldn't watch t.v. Sunday night. You see, Sunday night is when I catch up on some t.v. shows that I DVR all week. Some of them aren't for kids. In fact, most of them aren't. But as I sat down to watch them, these kids started showing up like those little flying bugs around the lights lately.
Plus, they want to share the couch with you. I'm not their momma, I don't want to share a couch. I don't want to snuggle, or be close, or any of that. I want to stretch out, have my own space, and be comfortable. But you can't do that with these little kids all over the place.
Monday while I'm at work my wife calls me. The girls are fighting. They are texting my wife telling on each other, blackmailing each other with pictures of eating in the living room, etc. Holy... One of them even told the other one that she was going to tear her face off. Tear her face off? Who says stuff like that? What girl says stuff like that?
So I get home from work, put one foot in the door, and get bombarded with "I want to"s and "Let's do"s from everywhere. My son, who I haven't seen in a couple of days because he's been hunting with my brother-in-law, is walking around in 80 degree weather with his camoflauge hunting gear like he's Elmer Fudd. He wants to make burgers on the pit, but first I have to mow the yard, weed eat, go for a run, take a shower, do some paper work, write this column... You get the picture.
Well, needless to say, the column got put off until this morning. And now I'm late for work.
You see? That's why I don't have time for this, or the nerves. That's why I say send them to school all year around.
I used to beg my wife when we were dating that we should just keep pets- no kids. You think my dog Chuy rolls his eyes when we can't go on vacation? No, he's perfectly fine laying around all day doing nothing and watching t.v.
And his food doesn't cost $100.