What a job
Was sitting around thinking about the coolest jobs the other day, and then tried to come up with my top five. I had to put a little thought into it, because it was a little harder than it sounds.
I mean, some jobs are like ducks. They seem cool and calm on the surface, but underneath the water their feet are going 90 to nothing.
People used to tell me all the time that I had the perfect job when I covered sports. And for the most part, I loved it. Until I was stuck in the rain on the sidelines, or some mom whined that her baby never got his picture in the paper. And of course, every Monday night I slept on the couch and wrote everything up in the middle of the night.
So I had to really put some thought in to come up with my list.
The news anchor is what made me think of all this in the first place. I don’t mean the guy right out of college who has to cover the boring city council meetings, or who has to put in all the research for a story.
I mean the guy who gets dressed up in a free suit every night, and the toughest two things about his job are having to wear makeup and reading the teleprompter.
I love to drive, so I think truck driving and hot-shotting would be a cool job. You get to drive all over the country, listen to talk radio all day, and the hardest thing you have to do is pump gas in your vehicle. Most of the loading and unloading of the trailer is done by other people.
Every now and then, I’ll see a group of cowboys around here eating lunch or breakfast together. They all have their horses in their trailers outside, and sometimes even their dogs are in the back of the truck. Every time I see them, I get jealous.
Can you imagine? Being a real cowboy for a living has to be one of the all time greatest jobs ever. My God, there are songs written about you, man.
Speaking of songs, my second cool job on the list is probably a country music singer. Not one of these new guys or girls, who have all the competition and singing lessons to deal with. They actually have to hit the road and work hard, and go on tour and shoot videos all day.
I mean the older guys, like George Straight or Willie Nelson. Trust me, nobody is telling Willie Nelson what he has to do every day. And I’ll bet you he hasn’t taken a singing lesson in a good while.
And now, my favorite job of all time. It has to belong to Guy Fieri, the t.v. host of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
This lucky guy gets to travel the country, in a convertible no less, and visit restaurants for a living. Now, at some point I know he worked hard, because he is a very famous chef, and God only knows how many years of school he attended to get there. But now, he’s living the good life. He’s eating barbecue in Austin one day, gumbo in New Orleans the next day, and clam chowder in New England the day after that. He gets to meet new people all the time, and eat some of the best food in the world… for free.
Don’t know about you, but it beats my job.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Just the facts
Came across some crazy facts the other day, and figured I would pass them on to you.
Like this one that says that Americans collectively eat one pound of chocolate per second, or the fact that more Americans have died in car accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States .
That makes sense to me, because we have way more women and teen drivers than ever before. Add to that the fact that most of them are eating chocolate while they are driving, and well…
Did you know that almonds are a member of the peach family? Or that one in every four Americans has appeared on television? Of course, most of them in the south are talking about the tornado or the flying saucer they just saw.
Speaking of rednecks- in Jasper, Alabama , it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Where are you going to find a good whooping stick that’s smaller than your thumb? Is it really worth even doing, then, if you can’t do it the right way? (Just joking, save your emails.)
In Hartford , Connecticut , it is illegal to educate a dog. In my house it’s legal, just impossible.
In Waterville , Maine , it is illegal to blow one’s nose in public.
That should be a law everywhere, if you ask me. Nothing is worse than trying to eat breakfast and hearing some old guy right behind you filling up his napkin.
Crocodiles can’t stick out their tongues, and they swallow stones to help them dive deeper. Think I’m gonna try that one with my kids. Then maybe they can get those ridiculous little sticks off the bottom of our pool.
It says here that most dreams last between five and twenty minutes. Which is bad news if you’re dreaming about a car wreck or running from a bear, but great news if you’re dreaming about Carrie Underwood. I mean, I guess. I don’t really know or anything.
Speaking of hot chics, if Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. Hey now… The bad news is that you would have to be Shaquille O’Neal to go out with her, because she would stand 7’2”.
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans, although 100 people a year can’t cough up a ball point pen.
A Koala Bear, and my oldest daughter, sleep twenty-two hours of every day… Fingernails grow fastest on the hand you favor. Did you know that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo? Nobody knows why.
And I believe that these next two are related. Women end up digesting most of the lipstick that they apply, and eighty percent of arguments between married couples occur in the bathroom.
And finally, some bad news for the male members of my family. One’s eyes are the same size from birth, but your nose and ears never stop growing. Damnit. I’d rather be 7’2”.
Came across some crazy facts the other day, and figured I would pass them on to you.
Like this one that says that Americans collectively eat one pound of chocolate per second, or the fact that more Americans have died in car accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States .
That makes sense to me, because we have way more women and teen drivers than ever before. Add to that the fact that most of them are eating chocolate while they are driving, and well…
Did you know that almonds are a member of the peach family? Or that one in every four Americans has appeared on television? Of course, most of them in the south are talking about the tornado or the flying saucer they just saw.
Speaking of rednecks- in Jasper, Alabama , it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
Where are you going to find a good whooping stick that’s smaller than your thumb? Is it really worth even doing, then, if you can’t do it the right way? (Just joking, save your emails.)
In Hartford , Connecticut , it is illegal to educate a dog. In my house it’s legal, just impossible.
In Waterville , Maine , it is illegal to blow one’s nose in public.
That should be a law everywhere, if you ask me. Nothing is worse than trying to eat breakfast and hearing some old guy right behind you filling up his napkin.
Crocodiles can’t stick out their tongues, and they swallow stones to help them dive deeper. Think I’m gonna try that one with my kids. Then maybe they can get those ridiculous little sticks off the bottom of our pool.
It says here that most dreams last between five and twenty minutes. Which is bad news if you’re dreaming about a car wreck or running from a bear, but great news if you’re dreaming about Carrie Underwood. I mean, I guess. I don’t really know or anything.
Speaking of hot chics, if Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. Hey now… The bad news is that you would have to be Shaquille O’Neal to go out with her, because she would stand 7’2”.
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans, although 100 people a year can’t cough up a ball point pen.
A Koala Bear, and my oldest daughter, sleep twenty-two hours of every day… Fingernails grow fastest on the hand you favor. Did you know that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo? Nobody knows why.
And I believe that these next two are related. Women end up digesting most of the lipstick that they apply, and eighty percent of arguments between married couples occur in the bathroom.
And finally, some bad news for the male members of my family. One’s eyes are the same size from birth, but your nose and ears never stop growing. Damnit. I’d rather be 7’2”.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Wild animals and marriage?
I’m a fan of the show “Ax Men” that airs on Sunday nights. Monday my wife called me to say that one of the show’s characters lost his 4-year old son to an attack by the family Rottweiler.
My first reaction was sadness, because any time a young child dies it bothers me. My second reaction was “duh”. I believe you can either own a 4-year old kid, or you can own a Rottweiler, but you can’t own both.
I already know what you are going to say. “But Shannon , it’s how you raise the dog that matters. Not all Rottweilers and pit bulls are bad.” And of course that’s true. But let me explain something to you.
Our family dog has an anger problem. He has one of the worst temperaments that I’ve ever seen on a dog, and at least twice a week he snaps at my son or somebody else. The difference is, we own a small dog that could chew on my son’s arm for a week and not get it chewed off.
I did a little research, and it turns out that Rottweilers, pit bulls, and Presa Canarios (don’t know what that is) are responsible for 74% of reported dog attacks, 65% of the deaths, and 68% of the maimings. What I take from that is every dog can have a bad day, but when one of these dogs has a bad day it turns into a bad day for everyone involved.
And while we are on the subject of animals, let’s come up with a new rule- no more pity parties for people who get killed by wild animals when they are messing with them.
The comedian Chris Rock had a great line when talking about the Tiger that attacked the Las Vegas performer Sigfried, or Roy , or whatever his name was. He said “That Tiger didn’t go crazy, he went Tiger.”
I felt the same way last week when the television news was flooded with the story of the Disney World trainer who was killed by a Killer Whale. “Tragic” is what they called it. I call it a matter of time. Folks, they named the species “Killer” Whale. Not “Warm and Snuggly” Whale, or “Come Ride on my Back” Whale. “Kil-ler” Whale.
Stop calling these deaths tragic. The Holocaust was tragic. September 11 was tragic. The Sopranos ending their t.v. run was tragic. These deaths were a lack of common sense. Leave wild animals alone.
Now, let’s end this column on a high note.
My wife and I know two young couples that are very close to getting married. Both of them are in that “can’t get enough of you” stage, and boy has it been fun to watch from afar.
One of the couples will leave each other little messages on Facebook, and my wife and I will call each other and talk about it. The other couple is involved in the pre-marriage classes that most churches offer nowadays.
I was reminissing about the time when we were in our own pre-marriage classes, and I got the best piece of advice of my life. The teachers were an older married couple who had gone through their own ups and downs over the years.
The guy teacher told us “You always hear that marriages are 50-50 effort from both partners, and that’s not true. In fact, it’s hardly ever 50-50. It might be 60-40 on her part one day, and 80-20 on his part the next day. She might put 70-30 effort in for a whole year, but that’s not the important part. The important part is that when either partner needs the other to carry the load, he or she does so without question or complaint.”
That has been a valuable piece of information for me over the last 12 years, and I hope they still teach that in those classes.
Love the column? Hate the column? Have an idea for a new column? Go to http://shannonscasta.blogspot.com/ or http://robconews.com/ and leave Shannon a message.
My first reaction was sadness, because any time a young child dies it bothers me. My second reaction was “duh”. I believe you can either own a 4-year old kid, or you can own a Rottweiler, but you can’t own both.
I already know what you are going to say. “But Shannon , it’s how you raise the dog that matters. Not all Rottweilers and pit bulls are bad.” And of course that’s true. But let me explain something to you.
Our family dog has an anger problem. He has one of the worst temperaments that I’ve ever seen on a dog, and at least twice a week he snaps at my son or somebody else. The difference is, we own a small dog that could chew on my son’s arm for a week and not get it chewed off.
I did a little research, and it turns out that Rottweilers, pit bulls, and Presa Canarios (don’t know what that is) are responsible for 74% of reported dog attacks, 65% of the deaths, and 68% of the maimings. What I take from that is every dog can have a bad day, but when one of these dogs has a bad day it turns into a bad day for everyone involved.
And while we are on the subject of animals, let’s come up with a new rule- no more pity parties for people who get killed by wild animals when they are messing with them.
The comedian Chris Rock had a great line when talking about the Tiger that attacked the Las Vegas performer Sigfried, or Roy , or whatever his name was. He said “That Tiger didn’t go crazy, he went Tiger.”
I felt the same way last week when the television news was flooded with the story of the Disney World trainer who was killed by a Killer Whale. “Tragic” is what they called it. I call it a matter of time. Folks, they named the species “Killer” Whale. Not “Warm and Snuggly” Whale, or “Come Ride on my Back” Whale. “Kil-ler” Whale.
Stop calling these deaths tragic. The Holocaust was tragic. September 11 was tragic. The Sopranos ending their t.v. run was tragic. These deaths were a lack of common sense. Leave wild animals alone.
Now, let’s end this column on a high note.
My wife and I know two young couples that are very close to getting married. Both of them are in that “can’t get enough of you” stage, and boy has it been fun to watch from afar.
One of the couples will leave each other little messages on Facebook, and my wife and I will call each other and talk about it. The other couple is involved in the pre-marriage classes that most churches offer nowadays.
I was reminissing about the time when we were in our own pre-marriage classes, and I got the best piece of advice of my life. The teachers were an older married couple who had gone through their own ups and downs over the years.
The guy teacher told us “You always hear that marriages are 50-50 effort from both partners, and that’s not true. In fact, it’s hardly ever 50-50. It might be 60-40 on her part one day, and 80-20 on his part the next day. She might put 70-30 effort in for a whole year, but that’s not the important part. The important part is that when either partner needs the other to carry the load, he or she does so without question or complaint.”
That has been a valuable piece of information for me over the last 12 years, and I hope they still teach that in those classes.
Love the column? Hate the column? Have an idea for a new column? Go to http://shannonscasta.blogspot.com/ or http://robconews.com/ and leave Shannon a message.
The Tiger and the Cheetah
Oh man, am I gonna lose some readers with this one.
I was surfing on Facebook the other day (Is that what we call it? I’m not really sure.) and I came across an old classmate blasting Tiger Woods for his “apology” Friday morning. She said that when the story broke last Thanksgiving, she didn’t let her son watch SportsCenter for two weeks.
Of course, she wasn’t the only person talking bad about the superstar. Every news channel on t.v., every radio station, and just about every internet sight had something bad to say about the guy.
By the way, I hate that about news channels lately. They have way too many opinions, and not enough news for me. And not just about this subject, but pretty much everything that comes across their desks.
But on this Tiger subject I’ve got to say… Shut up already. For three months, I’ve heard people screaming about how he needed to come out of hiding with a public apology. And when he finally did, all anyone wanted to do was critique him and his speech.
My goodness, I’d hate to be a public figure in this country.
Folks, he looked into a camera that was being watched by 200 hundred million people and admitted some pretty bad things. You don’t think that was a little tough? And worst than that, 40 of his closest friends, co-workers, and his mother were a couple of feet from him when he did it.
Look, am I happy with him for cheating on his wife? Of course not. But it’s none of my business, or your business, or anybody else’s business. He didn’t owe me an apology, or you, or anyone but his sponsors and his wife.
Besides, we don’t know what their bedroom life is like, so I don’t see how we can automatically just throw all the blame on him for all of this. Don’t wanna get too graphic here, but for all we know she might be a cold dead fish. (Yep, that’s where I’m gonna lose half of you.)
As for my kids, well, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way but I wanted my kids to watch SportsCenter when all this stuff broke. And I made my oldest two watch his apology Friday. I wanted to use this as a teaching moment, not something to be afraid of and avoid.
I want them to understand that public figures, athletes, movie stars, and politicians are just regular people with a different skill set. They all still have problems, just like the rest of us.
I remember having a conversation years ago with a father who was mad at Mike Tyson when he went to prison for rape. I was much younger then, and didn’t have children yet. But I still had the same opinion.
“My kids look up to that guy,” he said. “He’s their role model.”
I thought to myself, “Then, isn’t that a ‘you’ problem?”
I’m not letting athletes all the way off the hook, because it would be great if they were all like Drew Brees and Peyton Manning. But the fact is, they aren’t. And even the two guys I mentioned here have some sort of problems in their lives, I’m sure.
Of course, I hope I’m wrong about that. Because two things I’ve learned about people in this country is 1) We love to build public figures up and 2) We love to tear them back down.
I was surfing on Facebook the other day (Is that what we call it? I’m not really sure.) and I came across an old classmate blasting Tiger Woods for his “apology” Friday morning. She said that when the story broke last Thanksgiving, she didn’t let her son watch SportsCenter for two weeks.
Of course, she wasn’t the only person talking bad about the superstar. Every news channel on t.v., every radio station, and just about every internet sight had something bad to say about the guy.
By the way, I hate that about news channels lately. They have way too many opinions, and not enough news for me. And not just about this subject, but pretty much everything that comes across their desks.
But on this Tiger subject I’ve got to say… Shut up already. For three months, I’ve heard people screaming about how he needed to come out of hiding with a public apology. And when he finally did, all anyone wanted to do was critique him and his speech.
My goodness, I’d hate to be a public figure in this country.
Folks, he looked into a camera that was being watched by 200 hundred million people and admitted some pretty bad things. You don’t think that was a little tough? And worst than that, 40 of his closest friends, co-workers, and his mother were a couple of feet from him when he did it.
Look, am I happy with him for cheating on his wife? Of course not. But it’s none of my business, or your business, or anybody else’s business. He didn’t owe me an apology, or you, or anyone but his sponsors and his wife.
Besides, we don’t know what their bedroom life is like, so I don’t see how we can automatically just throw all the blame on him for all of this. Don’t wanna get too graphic here, but for all we know she might be a cold dead fish. (Yep, that’s where I’m gonna lose half of you.)
As for my kids, well, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way but I wanted my kids to watch SportsCenter when all this stuff broke. And I made my oldest two watch his apology Friday. I wanted to use this as a teaching moment, not something to be afraid of and avoid.
I want them to understand that public figures, athletes, movie stars, and politicians are just regular people with a different skill set. They all still have problems, just like the rest of us.
I remember having a conversation years ago with a father who was mad at Mike Tyson when he went to prison for rape. I was much younger then, and didn’t have children yet. But I still had the same opinion.
“My kids look up to that guy,” he said. “He’s their role model.”
I thought to myself, “Then, isn’t that a ‘you’ problem?”
I’m not letting athletes all the way off the hook, because it would be great if they were all like Drew Brees and Peyton Manning. But the fact is, they aren’t. And even the two guys I mentioned here have some sort of problems in their lives, I’m sure.
Of course, I hope I’m wrong about that. Because two things I’ve learned about people in this country is 1) We love to build public figures up and 2) We love to tear them back down.
Cabin Fever
Boy, do I have a pretty bad case of cabin fever. With football season over and nothing to watch on t.v. all weekend, I start thinking too much.
I start examining where I am in life, where I want to be, where I want my children to be, etc. Before I know it I’m remembering all the time, money and friendships that I’ve wasted over the years.
I know, I know. I need a hobby.
I’ve got to get back to running again. I hate running. Can’t stand it. In fact, I don’t like anything remotely close to exercise. But I’m getting older and more out of shape by the minute, and I’ve got to do something.
Two or three years ago, I got to where I was running up at the track a few nights a week. Actually started feeling pretty good, too.
Well, maybe it wasn’t so much running as it was jogging. And it wasn’t a marathon or anything, just four or five times around the track whenever I could.
Okay, it wasn’t so much jogging as it was half speed-walking/half stumbling forward in a big circle. But the fact is, I did feel better after a few weeks of doing it.
Anyway, I’ve got to get back to it as soon as it warms up a little outside. And no, that’s not just an excuse I’m using. I know that technically I could start running now, but the cold air feels like someone is stabbing you in the lungs every time you breathe heavy. Besides, it’s been documented several times how much I hate the cold weather.
And running, I mean jog-, I mean moving around the track isn’t the only thing the cold weather is keeping me from doing. There is a whole list of things that I can’t do until it warms up.
I want to get some work done out in the flowerbeds, but I’m not sure if another freeze is coming or not.
We have one of those fancy sprinkler systems already down in our yard, and I want to see what it will take to get working again, if anything at all. But who wants to work with water when it’s this cold out?
The cemetery that two of my buddies and I take care of needs a lot of work. I mean a lot of work. But see, it’s up on a hill, the wind blows pretty hard, and there’s just no way to stay warm up there.
I’ve been wanting to replace that stupid sliding glass door from the ‘60s with a set of French doors, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me to figure out how to put the new doors in. I can just hear my wife fussing when it’s 36 degrees outside and I’m using a tarp to cover up a huge hole in our back wall.
I’m ready to take the top down on my jeep, go ride 4-wheelers with my son, and do a little camping and fishing with the family. But I can’t do any of that with this stupid cold weather.
I guess the only thing left to do is to sit here inside and think of an excuse to put off running once it turns warm.
I start examining where I am in life, where I want to be, where I want my children to be, etc. Before I know it I’m remembering all the time, money and friendships that I’ve wasted over the years.
I know, I know. I need a hobby.
I’ve got to get back to running again. I hate running. Can’t stand it. In fact, I don’t like anything remotely close to exercise. But I’m getting older and more out of shape by the minute, and I’ve got to do something.
Two or three years ago, I got to where I was running up at the track a few nights a week. Actually started feeling pretty good, too.
Well, maybe it wasn’t so much running as it was jogging. And it wasn’t a marathon or anything, just four or five times around the track whenever I could.
Okay, it wasn’t so much jogging as it was half speed-walking/half stumbling forward in a big circle. But the fact is, I did feel better after a few weeks of doing it.
Anyway, I’ve got to get back to it as soon as it warms up a little outside. And no, that’s not just an excuse I’m using. I know that technically I could start running now, but the cold air feels like someone is stabbing you in the lungs every time you breathe heavy. Besides, it’s been documented several times how much I hate the cold weather.
And running, I mean jog-, I mean moving around the track isn’t the only thing the cold weather is keeping me from doing. There is a whole list of things that I can’t do until it warms up.
I want to get some work done out in the flowerbeds, but I’m not sure if another freeze is coming or not.
We have one of those fancy sprinkler systems already down in our yard, and I want to see what it will take to get working again, if anything at all. But who wants to work with water when it’s this cold out?
The cemetery that two of my buddies and I take care of needs a lot of work. I mean a lot of work. But see, it’s up on a hill, the wind blows pretty hard, and there’s just no way to stay warm up there.
I’ve been wanting to replace that stupid sliding glass door from the ‘60s with a set of French doors, but I’m not sure how long it’s going to take me to figure out how to put the new doors in. I can just hear my wife fussing when it’s 36 degrees outside and I’m using a tarp to cover up a huge hole in our back wall.
I’m ready to take the top down on my jeep, go ride 4-wheelers with my son, and do a little camping and fishing with the family. But I can’t do any of that with this stupid cold weather.
I guess the only thing left to do is to sit here inside and think of an excuse to put off running once it turns warm.
One Super Memory
I’ve got some good news for you during this rough economy. If you are looking for a job, there should be plenty of openings in the advertising industry after watching those $2.8 million dollar commercials from the Super Bowl.
I’m glad I took notes on them, because I can only remember a few.
Right off the bat they showed the Tim Tebow commercial that was supposed to be controversial, and it was a dud. There was nothing controversial about it. I’m not sure what the liberals hated about it, because it looked more like an E-Harmony commercial than anything else. Kind of icky, really.
No, the first controversy came when my wife started handling the remote like she had lost her mind- moving the volume up and down all willy-nilly like. There is never a good excuse for the wife handling the remote during any big game, much less the Super Bowl.
Our first laugh came during the Doritos commercial when the dog put the shock collar on the guy. I’d have to say that Doritos was the clear winner overall, because they had three or four pretty funny ones. My favorite was the little kid who pimp slapped his mom’s date. “Don’t touch my mamma, and don’t touch my Doritos.”
And of course the E-Trade commercials are always funny, with the little baby that has the grown up voice. The “milkaholic” one made me laugh the most.
One thing I noticed about this year’s commercials- way too many fat guys in their tighty whities. There were about two or three in a row at one point. Glad I was done eating by then.
Then it was halftime, and Oh Lord did that suck. The Who? Who ‘dat? I’m pretty sure my grandparents grew up listening to them.
I promise that if I ever meet Janet Jackson or Justin Timberlake, I’m gonna punch them right in the gut. Ever since the “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004, we’ve had a parade of old people during halftime.
I’m not saying put someone weird like Lady Gaga out there, but please find me someone under the age of 60, will you? We haven’t seen anyone relevant in six years. You had Carrie Underwood there to sing the National Anthem, why couldn’t you throw her on at halftime too? I wouldn’t mind looki-, um, hearing her sing for fifteen more minutes.
As for the game itself, I started out pulling for the Colts about 80%. I’m a pretty big Peyton Manning fan, and like to see hard work pay off.
But I’ll admit, the more interviews I watched on the pregame shows, and the more I saw how much it would mean to New Orleans , I started leaning toward the Saints a little.
The pictures that were in my mind of New Orleans were of the people looting, robbing, and whining about the government not helping them.
What I forgot about were the people who left when they were supposed to, came back to rubble, then worked hard and rebuilt without asking for help. For those people, I actually started pulling for the Saints a little by halftime.
And for Drew Brees.
I find it funny that for all the money that the companies spent on commercials, Brees provided the most memorable one for free.
The little kid slapping the guy made me laugh, the men in their underwear made me cringe, and Megan Fox in the bubble bath made me miss my mouth with my drink. But minutes after the game Brees held his one year old son and kissed his face and cried openly and drank it all in slowly. You could actually see him taking a mental snapshot of it all, because he never wanted to forget that moment.
As a father, I know I never will.
I’m glad I took notes on them, because I can only remember a few.
Right off the bat they showed the Tim Tebow commercial that was supposed to be controversial, and it was a dud. There was nothing controversial about it. I’m not sure what the liberals hated about it, because it looked more like an E-Harmony commercial than anything else. Kind of icky, really.
No, the first controversy came when my wife started handling the remote like she had lost her mind- moving the volume up and down all willy-nilly like. There is never a good excuse for the wife handling the remote during any big game, much less the Super Bowl.
Our first laugh came during the Doritos commercial when the dog put the shock collar on the guy. I’d have to say that Doritos was the clear winner overall, because they had three or four pretty funny ones. My favorite was the little kid who pimp slapped his mom’s date. “Don’t touch my mamma, and don’t touch my Doritos.”
And of course the E-Trade commercials are always funny, with the little baby that has the grown up voice. The “milkaholic” one made me laugh the most.
One thing I noticed about this year’s commercials- way too many fat guys in their tighty whities. There were about two or three in a row at one point. Glad I was done eating by then.
Then it was halftime, and Oh Lord did that suck. The Who? Who ‘dat? I’m pretty sure my grandparents grew up listening to them.
I promise that if I ever meet Janet Jackson or Justin Timberlake, I’m gonna punch them right in the gut. Ever since the “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004, we’ve had a parade of old people during halftime.
I’m not saying put someone weird like Lady Gaga out there, but please find me someone under the age of 60, will you? We haven’t seen anyone relevant in six years. You had Carrie Underwood there to sing the National Anthem, why couldn’t you throw her on at halftime too? I wouldn’t mind looki-, um, hearing her sing for fifteen more minutes.
As for the game itself, I started out pulling for the Colts about 80%. I’m a pretty big Peyton Manning fan, and like to see hard work pay off.
But I’ll admit, the more interviews I watched on the pregame shows, and the more I saw how much it would mean to New Orleans , I started leaning toward the Saints a little.
The pictures that were in my mind of New Orleans were of the people looting, robbing, and whining about the government not helping them.
What I forgot about were the people who left when they were supposed to, came back to rubble, then worked hard and rebuilt without asking for help. For those people, I actually started pulling for the Saints a little by halftime.
And for Drew Brees.
I find it funny that for all the money that the companies spent on commercials, Brees provided the most memorable one for free.
The little kid slapping the guy made me laugh, the men in their underwear made me cringe, and Megan Fox in the bubble bath made me miss my mouth with my drink. But minutes after the game Brees held his one year old son and kissed his face and cried openly and drank it all in slowly. You could actually see him taking a mental snapshot of it all, because he never wanted to forget that moment.
As a father, I know I never will.
It's a Super Week
Quite a few things to talk about this week.
The number one thing in the news right now is of course Super Bowl XLIV, which will be played this Sunday.. I believe that XLIV means 44, but I’m not 100% sure about that.
I can always tell if a man is a real football fan or not just by how and where he watches the Super Bowl. You see, a real football fan isn’t going to a busy sports bar or a big party to watch a game like this. He would rather watch the game with a couple of his buddies, some good sausage links, a little homemade cheese dip, and maybe an adult beverage or two.
Plus if you watch the game around all those people, how can you hear the commercials?
The last few years I haven’t really enjoyed the commercials that much, but I think this year will be different. If nothing else, the controversial ones will keep me entertained.
Former Florida quarterback and NFL hopeful Tim Tebow and his mother are said to have a commercial coming out against abortioin. For the record, I believe that a woman has a right to do what she wants with her own body, and the world is already over-populated as it is. But I totally respect other opinions on the matter and can’t wait to see the commercial, if for nothing else the controversy that will follow.
Speaking of controversy, CBS dodged a bullet when they decided against running an ad from a gay men’s dating website. The way I heard it, the commercial went like this. Three guys were watching the game, when two of them reached for the bowl of chips at the same time. Their hands brushed each other, they looked in each other’s eyes, and the spit swapping commenced.
Again, for the record, I’m not gay. But I totally respect gay rights and think that gay people deserve to be as happy or as miserable as straight people are. I think the commercial would have been hilarious, but I can’t blame CBS for not running it. I’m sure they would have lost more revenue than the $2.8 million dollar spot would cover.
The other commercials that I can’t wait to see are the Miller High Life commercials. Miller is pretty much donating their two $2.8 million dollar spots to four small businesses, letting them get some recognition. What a great idea in this tough economy.
Since everyone knows I’m a huge sports fan, I always get folks asking me who I think will win the big game, or at least who I want to win the big game.
I’ll say this. I’m a pretty big Drew Brees fan, and since I’ve met his grandparents there in Franklin I’ve pulled for him even more.. They are two of the nicest people I’ve met in a long time.
However, I’ve been kind of turned off from everything having to do with New Orleans ever since Hurrican Katrina. I’m not talking about the food, the restaurants and shopping places, or even Marti Gras. That stuff will always be great.
I’m referring to all the people who were whining and complaining about how long the government took to get help down there after the storm. And the way that some people acted and behaved themselves when the going got tough. All the looting, the pushing and shoving in food lines, etc.
It’s the same reason that I stopped listening to the news when they covered the recent tragic earthquake in Haiti for two weeks non-stop. The sense of entitlement that people in New Orleans and Haiti showed made me want to throw up.
I’m not saying that those people shouldn’t receive a little help, I just believe that it’s not the government’s job to help them. That should fall to the Red Cross, churches, and places like that. Helping people should always be volunteered, not required.
It’s like I’m always telling my wife- my son will be fine when he grows up because I make him help me out mowing the cemetery or working some other way to earn his money. He has chores around the house, such as taking out the trash, picking up the newspapers, etc. And now at the age of eight years old, he doesn’t expect me to buy him anything. He understands that if he wants something he has to work to get it.
My daughters, on the other hand… well that’s a different story. My wife hardly ever makes them help out around the house, and they still get pretty much everything they ask for. With an 11 year old daughter around, my wife should never have to wash another dish or fold another towel.
Call me harsh. Call me a jerk. And yes, I know I’m going to Hell because I can’t stand to see someone expecting charity. What can I say? That’s just how I feel.
And because I feel that way… go Indianapolis Colts.
The number one thing in the news right now is of course Super Bowl XLIV, which will be played this Sunday.. I believe that XLIV means 44, but I’m not 100% sure about that.
I can always tell if a man is a real football fan or not just by how and where he watches the Super Bowl. You see, a real football fan isn’t going to a busy sports bar or a big party to watch a game like this. He would rather watch the game with a couple of his buddies, some good sausage links, a little homemade cheese dip, and maybe an adult beverage or two.
Plus if you watch the game around all those people, how can you hear the commercials?
The last few years I haven’t really enjoyed the commercials that much, but I think this year will be different. If nothing else, the controversial ones will keep me entertained.
Former Florida quarterback and NFL hopeful Tim Tebow and his mother are said to have a commercial coming out against abortioin. For the record, I believe that a woman has a right to do what she wants with her own body, and the world is already over-populated as it is. But I totally respect other opinions on the matter and can’t wait to see the commercial, if for nothing else the controversy that will follow.
Speaking of controversy, CBS dodged a bullet when they decided against running an ad from a gay men’s dating website. The way I heard it, the commercial went like this. Three guys were watching the game, when two of them reached for the bowl of chips at the same time. Their hands brushed each other, they looked in each other’s eyes, and the spit swapping commenced.
Again, for the record, I’m not gay. But I totally respect gay rights and think that gay people deserve to be as happy or as miserable as straight people are. I think the commercial would have been hilarious, but I can’t blame CBS for not running it. I’m sure they would have lost more revenue than the $2.8 million dollar spot would cover.
The other commercials that I can’t wait to see are the Miller High Life commercials. Miller is pretty much donating their two $2.8 million dollar spots to four small businesses, letting them get some recognition. What a great idea in this tough economy.
Since everyone knows I’m a huge sports fan, I always get folks asking me who I think will win the big game, or at least who I want to win the big game.
I’ll say this. I’m a pretty big Drew Brees fan, and since I’ve met his grandparents there in Franklin I’ve pulled for him even more.. They are two of the nicest people I’ve met in a long time.
However, I’ve been kind of turned off from everything having to do with New Orleans ever since Hurrican Katrina. I’m not talking about the food, the restaurants and shopping places, or even Marti Gras. That stuff will always be great.
I’m referring to all the people who were whining and complaining about how long the government took to get help down there after the storm. And the way that some people acted and behaved themselves when the going got tough. All the looting, the pushing and shoving in food lines, etc.
It’s the same reason that I stopped listening to the news when they covered the recent tragic earthquake in Haiti for two weeks non-stop. The sense of entitlement that people in New Orleans and Haiti showed made me want to throw up.
I’m not saying that those people shouldn’t receive a little help, I just believe that it’s not the government’s job to help them. That should fall to the Red Cross, churches, and places like that. Helping people should always be volunteered, not required.
It’s like I’m always telling my wife- my son will be fine when he grows up because I make him help me out mowing the cemetery or working some other way to earn his money. He has chores around the house, such as taking out the trash, picking up the newspapers, etc. And now at the age of eight years old, he doesn’t expect me to buy him anything. He understands that if he wants something he has to work to get it.
My daughters, on the other hand… well that’s a different story. My wife hardly ever makes them help out around the house, and they still get pretty much everything they ask for. With an 11 year old daughter around, my wife should never have to wash another dish or fold another towel.
Call me harsh. Call me a jerk. And yes, I know I’m going to Hell because I can’t stand to see someone expecting charity. What can I say? That’s just how I feel.
And because I feel that way… go Indianapolis Colts.
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