Shannon goes to town



Some guys spend thousands of dollars per year hunting, or fishing, or playing golf. I’ve never been that into anything before. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a family and feel some kind of guilt over spending that kind of money on myself or what. Maybe it’s because my work schedule never allows for it. Or maybe it’s because I’m too lazy to have a hobby that involves that much moving around. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion it may be all three.

Well, I’ve found my hobby now.

One of my bosses called me in his office last week and asked me for a favor.

“I need you to test a fuel tank in Shreveport, Louisiana for me this Sunday,” he asked.

I was right in the middle of telling him why I couldn’t do it on a Sunday- the weekends are family time, the conference championship football games were on t.v., Sunday was my laundry day- when he pulled his money clip out of his pocket.

“I’ll even throw in $100 bucks for you to gamble on while you are there,” he urged.

Sold.

You see, I’ve gambled on nearly everything you can think of in life- cards, dice, sporting events, you name it. I’ve played pool for money (and won), played basketball for money (and lost, miserably), and even played “Cow Patty Bingo” (don’t ask). Hell, I bet a coworker one time how many red vehicles we’d see in a ten mile stretch of driving.

But I’ve never played poker in a real casino before. I’ve driven by plenty of them, but never had the time or extra money to stop and go in. So this was my big chance.

Me and another guy that I work with pulled up to the Horseshoe Casino and Hotel late Sunday evening. The first thing I saw was the big huge fountain in front of the building. I told myself I would have to get a picture of that before I left. We parked behind a few cars in a line, and jumped out to get us a couple of rooms when a little fellow in a red jacket and funny hat walked up to me.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said, “You are in the valet line. Can you please move your work truck out of the way?”

“Sweet”, I thought. “I’ve never used a valet before. I’ll have to get a picture of that, too.”

After getting a couple of rooms I pulled my truck back around the fountain to the front door and started getting my bags out when the little man in the red jacket came up to me again. “Sir, we do not valet big work trucks. You can park it over there, yourself” he pointed. Oh well.

As we walked up I took my phone out and started taking a picture of the fountain. “Tell you what, Beverly Hillbilly” my coworker said. “Why don’t you go stand in front of the fountain, and I’ll take a picture for you.”

Told him thanks, and started handing him my phone when he said “Dude I was joking. What are you, a Japanese tourist? Hell, good thing they didn’t valet. You’d probably want a picture of that, too.”

Twenty minutes later I was in my room, lying in the Jacuzzi tub, sipping a beverage and watching the football game all at the same time. I sent my wife a text-“if we ever build a house, lets put in Jacuzzi tub. It’s cool!” My phone rang ten seconds later and it was her. “That might be the girliest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” she said, then hung up.

And it went that way for the next four hours. I was like a kid in a big new candy store, and everyone else kept laughing at me. The dealers had to explain all the games to me, and the players had to show plenty of patience. But by the time I left they were usually all happy about it.

I never did have any beginner’s luck that I kept hearing about, but I did hold my own at the poker table. And I guess that’s all you can ask for.

That, and a Jacuzzi tub at home.



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