I’m in hot water (finally)

Okay, I think it’s well documented that I’m not one of those handy-around-the-house kind of guys. I don’t like fixing things when they break. My first line of defense is to usually just ignore whatever is wrong for as long as I can. If that doesn’t work, I try to act like I don’t have the time to fix it because of work or something, so I have to pay someone else to do it.

But every so often the excuses don’t work, and I end up having to actually work on something around the house. That happened this past weekend- and as usual, it wasn’t pretty.

One night last week I stepped out of the shower and heard water shooting from the hot water heater. My first thought was to try and nurse it until after the holidays, but when I opened the closet door it was pretty clear that wasn’t going to happen. It was like I had a car wash in my closet.

I learned a couple of things about myself the next evening. First, I learned that I don’t like cold showers. Secondly, I learned that I might have a future in opera. You know the ones that sing so high pitched that they can make glass shatter? Well, turns out I can do that whenever I step underneath cold water.

And trust me folks- if you think Christmas is tight around your house, try replacing one of these bad boys a week before the big day. Luckily, I had a little help. Not paying for it help, but taking the old one out and replacing it help. I woke up Saturday morning, and my brother-in-law had showed up to lend me a hand.

Now keep in mind that Friday night my wife and I attended a Christmas party, a very, very fun Christmas party. And, well, let’s just say I partook in the festivities rather abundantly. So I wasn’t really feeling my best Saturday morning.

Well, it turns out that replacing it wasn’t going as smooth as it should (things like that never do). I guess I might have fallen out of the Christmas spirit a little throughout the day. You know the old cusswords that your uncles and grandfather taught you to say? Well, those weren’t good enough for me Saturday. I actually invented a couple of them on my own.

Nothing was fitting, or working, or holding tight. The guy at the hardware store finally just kept my credit card in his wallet to save time. I have to be the only guy you know that started off with no hot water, and ended up with no water at all.

And when I finally did get the water heater in, the water wouldn’t come out of the kitchen sink. By then my brother-in-law had left, but luckily my neighbor saw me wandering around in the alley talking to myself and came to help. Before long he had the problem figured out, and my family and I were taking hot showers again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this- since we are a few days away from Christmas, I’m very grateful for good family and good neighbors.

Oh, and hot water.