Bad news sells

Boy, you knew it was going to be a bad week when Andy Rooney died. Between he and Joe Frazier, the world lost a couple of pretty good ones this week.
I’ve stolen more column ideas from Rooney than anyone else I can think of. The first half of his life story reads like a great movie- fancy high school, upscale college, the war, etc. Then he had a whole wonderful second half of life also, working for CBS. He complained about everything from crammed kitchen drawers to airplane industries, but somehow did it in a way that you still loved him when he was done. In fact, most of the time you loved him more.
I wish I could figure out how he did that. I fuss about a lot of stuff, too. Just yesterday I came home and unloaded on all three kids at three different times, and even butted heads with my wife before the night was over. I didn’t get the feeling that anyone loved me more by the end of the night. Somehow he did that for 40 years.
Frazier was one of the few guys that put Muhammed Ali on his back. I wish there had been more. In fact, I wish that Frazier could have beaten Ali in all three matches that they fought. Frazier stuck up for Ali when Ali got in trouble for draft-dodging, and even loaned him money when he needed it.
Ali paid him back by mocking and making fun of him to the media before they fought, at one time even calling him an Uncle Tom. Ali made his one-time friend look silly and small time in front of the media time after time after time, and he did it all just for publicity. Not one time has Ali apologized for treating Frazier that way, and it’s too late now.
Pop singer Michael Jackson’s doctor was found guilty this week for giving the icon drugs that he overdosed on. Here’s my take on that situation- if it hadn’t of been this doctor, it would have been someone else. When you have a habit like Michael Jackson did, and the money to pay for it, you will find a way to feed the habit. I’m guessing that seventy five percent of the people reading this column would have done the same thing this doctor did if the money was the same, and to say otherwise would be lying. He deserves to do some time, but I hope it’s not too much. Jackson was just as guilty as the doctor.
Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain is in some hot water now. The fourth woman has come forward to accuse him of sexual assault, and I’m sure his numbers will take a nose dive now. I’m not sure who I believe in this story.
On one hand, it’s hard for me to believe that all four women can be making this up out of clean air. I always pay attention to how many people have to be lying in order for someone to be telling the truth. In this case it’s already four to one, and I bet it gets worse before it gets better.
On the other hand, three of the women won’t show their faces, and the fourth one hired Gloria Allred as her attorney. That’s one strike against her in my book. Also, why wait until the man is running for President? Fifteen years is a long time to sit on something that supposedly bothered you so much. It makes me think that she was biding her time until the price for silence was at an all-time high.
And finally, the Penn State scandal is sickening and disturbing. Former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky is accused of molesting at least eight kids- on campus- and higher ups at the college are accused of either covering up for him or not doing enough to make it stop. I’ve read the 23 page grand jury report, and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
I think everyone from the president of the university down to the water boy need to apologize and be replaced. In a situation like this, it’s not enough to just report something to your boss and leave it alone. Any time a kid is being sexually abused, you first call should be to the cops. Then you worry about what your bosses think.
Here’s hoping next week’s news headlines are a little more cheerful. But then that wouldn’t sell as well, would it?