One Super Memory

I’ve got some good news for you during this rough economy. If you are looking for a job, there should be plenty of openings in the advertising industry after watching those $2.8 million dollar commercials from the Super Bowl.

I’m glad I took notes on them, because I can only remember a few.

Right off the bat they showed the Tim Tebow commercial that was supposed to be controversial, and it was a dud. There was nothing controversial about it. I’m not sure what the liberals hated about it, because it looked more like an E-Harmony commercial than anything else. Kind of icky, really.

No, the first controversy came when my wife started handling the remote like she had lost her mind- moving the volume up and down all willy-nilly like. There is never a good excuse for the wife handling the remote during any big game, much less the Super Bowl.

Our first laugh came during the Doritos commercial when the dog put the shock collar on the guy. I’d have to say that Doritos was the clear winner overall, because they had three or four pretty funny ones. My favorite was the little kid who pimp slapped his mom’s date. “Don’t touch my mamma, and don’t touch my Doritos.”

And of course the E-Trade commercials are always funny, with the little baby that has the grown up voice. The “milkaholic” one made me laugh the most.

One thing I noticed about this year’s commercials- way too many fat guys in their tighty whities. There were about two or three in a row at one point. Glad I was done eating by then.

Then it was halftime, and Oh Lord did that suck. The Who? Who ‘dat? I’m pretty sure my grandparents grew up listening to them.

I promise that if I ever meet Janet Jackson or Justin Timberlake, I’m gonna punch them right in the gut. Ever since the “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004, we’ve had a parade of old people during halftime.

I’m not saying put someone weird like Lady Gaga out there, but please find me someone under the age of 60, will you? We haven’t seen anyone relevant in six years. You had Carrie Underwood there to sing the National Anthem, why couldn’t you throw her on at halftime too? I wouldn’t mind looki-, um, hearing her sing for fifteen more minutes.

As for the game itself, I started out pulling for the Colts about 80%. I’m a pretty big Peyton Manning fan, and like to see hard work pay off.

But I’ll admit, the more interviews I watched on the pregame shows, and the more I saw how much it would mean to New Orleans , I started leaning toward the Saints a little.

The pictures that were in my mind of New Orleans were of the people looting, robbing, and whining about the government not helping them.

What I forgot about were the people who left when they were supposed to, came back to rubble, then worked hard and rebuilt without asking for help. For those people, I actually started pulling for the Saints a little by halftime.

And for Drew Brees.

I find it funny that for all the money that the companies spent on commercials, Brees provided the most memorable one for free.

The little kid slapping the guy made me laugh, the men in their underwear made me cringe, and Megan Fox in the bubble bath made me miss my mouth with my drink. But minutes after the game Brees held his one year old son and kissed his face and cried openly and drank it all in slowly. You could actually see him taking a mental snapshot of it all, because he never wanted to forget that moment.

As a father, I know I never will.