Just the facts



Came across some crazy facts the other day, and figured I would pass them on to you.

Like this one that says that Americans collectively eat one pound of chocolate per second, or the fact that more Americans have died in car accidents than have died in all the wars ever fought by the United States .

That makes sense to me, because we have way more women and teen drivers than ever before. Add to that the fact that most of them are eating chocolate while they are driving, and well…

Did you know that almonds are a member of the peach family? Or that one in every four Americans has appeared on television? Of course, most of them in the south are talking about the tornado or the flying saucer they just saw.

Speaking of rednecks- in Jasper, Alabama , it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

Where are you going to find a good whooping stick that’s smaller than your thumb? Is it really worth even doing, then, if you can’t do it the right way? (Just joking, save your emails.)

In Hartford , Connecticut , it is illegal to educate a dog. In my house it’s legal, just impossible.

In Waterville , Maine , it is illegal to blow one’s nose in public.

That should be a law everywhere, if you ask me. Nothing is worse than trying to eat breakfast and hearing some old guy right behind you filling up his napkin.

Crocodiles can’t stick out their tongues, and they swallow stones to help them dive deeper. Think I’m gonna try that one with my kids. Then maybe they can get those ridiculous little sticks off the bottom of our pool.

It says here that most dreams last between five and twenty minutes. Which is bad news if you’re dreaming about a car wreck or running from a bear, but great news if you’re dreaming about Carrie Underwood. I mean, I guess. I don’t really know or anything.

Speaking of hot chics, if Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. Hey now… The bad news is that you would have to be Shaquille O’Neal to go out with her, because she would stand 7’2”.

A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans, although 100 people a year can’t cough up a ball point pen.

A Koala Bear, and my oldest daughter, sleep twenty-two hours of every day… Fingernails grow fastest on the hand you favor. Did you know that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo? Nobody knows why.

And I believe that these next two are related. Women end up digesting most of the lipstick that they apply, and eighty percent of arguments between married couples occur in the bathroom.

And finally, some bad news for the male members of my family. One’s eyes are the same size from birth, but your nose and ears never stop growing. Damnit. I’d rather be 7’2”.