Just venting



I haven’t vented here in a long time. My wife told me that I sounded too grumpy a while back, so I’ve tried to sound more friendly lately. Well I give up. I can’t do it anymore. I think that trying to be friendly is unhealthy for me. I’ve been smiling a lot more lately, but the heartburn has been through the roof. So let’s look at a few things that have my blood pressure up this week.

First of all, I’m ready for school to start again. My kids are eating everything in the house that isn’t nailed down, and they play on the computer way too much. My youngest daughter can rattle off her password for Millsbury.com that is 743 characters long, but she couldn’t tell you how many planets we have in the solar system if a bowl of ice cream depended on it. Between the vacations, the food, and the electric bill I’m going to have to get a fourth job. Speaking of that…

Another thing that I’m not crazy about is President Obama extending the unemployment benefits for another six months. I just can’t imagine how someone could believe that’s a good idea.

The other day I was watching ESPN highlights of the Tour de France. Bicycle Nerd #1 was leading the race when his chain fell off his bike. Bicycle Nerd #2 passed him up and won the stage. Well, later that day Bicycle Nerd #2 got hammered by the press and Bicycle Nerd #1 for dirty racing. It seems he was supposed to stop his bike and wait on Bicycle Nerd #1 to get his chain back on.

And I remember thinking to myself, “That’s why America kicks everyone’s butt all the time- because we don’t go around trying to make sure everything is fair.” If you fall down in this country you had better get up quickly or you’ll have foot marks on your back. The next guy in line wants to be successful even more than you do.

Of course I then turned the channel from ESPN to CNN, and saw that the unemployment benefits had been extended and my whole theory went out the window. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Welfare, government handouts, and most charity makes otherwise good people lazy. It’s just human nature.

I believe if you want to make this country’s economy stronger, instead of extending free money you need to shorten the amount of time you live off the government. Force people to get out and get a job or starve. If one job isn’t enough to pay the bills, work two jobs. It won’t kill you, I promise. Allow people to live in government housing for one year, then raise the rent to a normal price and have that extra money go back to the government. That’s plenty of time for them to find a decent paying job. I guarantee that you can look at almost any government housing complex in America and you will find 20 and 30 year-old people that have never lived anywhere else and have never worked a day in their lives. That’s ridiculous.

And finally, let’s talk about the thing that has me upset the most this week. Will somebody out there please, please, please write in, call, or email me the reason that I can’t buy a damn hamburger anymore without the meat being served on top of the vegetables? It’s a full-blown epedimic.

Everybody knows that since the beginning of time whenever you eat a burger the meat goes on bottom, then the cheese, then the vegetables. But for the last year or so, eight out of every ten times I order a burger the vegetables are on bottom for some reason. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

I’m sure there is a reason for it (Heat rises? Easier stacking?) but I don’t like it a bit. And you can’t just flip it over and eat it, because then the buns are upside down. Nope, you have to spend ten minutes deconstructing the whole thing, then building it back up the right way. Hell, with the amount of work involved they should be paying me to eat it.

Come to think of it, maybe that could be my fourth job.



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