We fix weedeaters and screen doors



I’ve got this neighbor, let’s call him Jack. His name really isn’t Jack, but I forgot to ask if I could use his real name and I’m writing this column at 4:30 in the morning, so we’ll have to go with Jack for now.

Anyway, Jack is one of these guys that can make, build and fix anything he puts his hands on. Seriously, he’s like “Bob the Builder” on steroids. And it’s ticking me off. First he did a whole bunch of cool stuff to the yard, then he re-roofed the house, now he’s adding on another room- all by himself. And it looks like a professional carpenter did it.

The bad thing is that my wife and my mother-in-law make hurtful little comments all the time, like “Look at Jack, he sure knows what he is doing over there,” and “Boy, Jack is coming right along with that new room, all by himself.”

What they are really saying is “Dang Shannon, Jack can do all this stuff around the house, and meanwhile your daughters can’t shut the door to their bedroom because it might not open again without a butter knife. And you can’t do anything about it.”

Oh I’ve tried to be the guy who fixes things around the house, it’s just not me. I re-roofed the little house where we used to live, and we ended up with a foot-sized whole in our bedroom ceiling. I’ve replaced the doorknob to our daughters’ room twice, and both times I somehow locked myself on the wrong side of the door. I even started painting our dining room, until my wife told me to just get out of the way and let her finish it.

Tell you what, though. I might have finally turned the corner and gained a little ground on Jack. A few weeks ago we had about 300 kids over here playing in our yard. Actually, it was closer to seven or eight kids, but it seemed like 300. Anyway, one of them somehow pulled the screen door off it’s hinges. Don’t ask me how, but one of the hinges was literally torn right in half.

By the grace of God, I somehow replaced the hinges and got the screen door back to where it actually opens and shuts like it is supposed to. Well, almost like it’s supposed to- it kind of sticks just a little bit when you close it. But it still ended up way closer to being right than I figured it would when I started.

My wife actually clapped her hands and gave me a high five.

Then one day I was using my weedeater when it stopped working. I mean it just quit. It was working fine ten minutes earlier, then it just decided to stop altogether. So I smashed it against a tree and threw it on the ground a couple of times until it broke into pieces. And it you’ve ever used a weedeater in 90 degree heat when it stopped working you don’t blame me a bit.

Well, rather than buy a new one I took three broken weedeaters into my shed and came out a couple of hours later with one semi-working weedeater. I even used it for a few minutes in my yard. This time, the whole family lined up and gave me a standing ovation.

There’s no stopping me now. I’m thinking about putting a sign out here on my shed. “Scasta & Son Household Repair- we fix weedeaters…and screen doors”.

Who knows? I might even give ol’ Jack a job if he can hang with me.



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